ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
