Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize