doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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