So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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