What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
