No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
