i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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