My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
