soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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