so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
