nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
