They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
