I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
