A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
