This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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