"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
