do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
