I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
