just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
