we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
