I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I intend to get homeless drunk
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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