I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
