When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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