Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
