I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
why do cheetos always look like penises
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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