can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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