His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
