Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
