Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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