If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
