Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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