I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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