u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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