sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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