The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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