So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
