Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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