The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
