I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize