I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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