Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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