i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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