Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
