So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
