why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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