If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Someone shit on the floor
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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