My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
