The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
