Sponge bath it is.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
this is an emotional support booty call
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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