I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
