who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
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... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize