I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize