I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
