just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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