I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
